Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Have you ever thought about what makes you smile? The simplest things in life can make you feel good enough to crack the mask on your face and smile. I used to smile a lot. I was always being complimented that when I smiled my whole face lit up. I haven’t smiled much the last 3 years. There have been some experiences in life that were just so hard to comprehend that it seemed to have sucked the happiness out of me and I lost my ability to smile.
However, there does seem to be a light at the end of the dark tunnel that I’ve been living in. I’ve recently made some wonderful new friends (not that my old friends weren’t wonderful, just that we are all so spread out now) and I have something to smile about now. I’ve discovered the joy, once again, of opening the heart and letting others in. It’s crazy. I’ve lived for so long with this wall built up around me and in a matter of months (less than 6) that wall has come crumbling down and leaving me vulnerable and yet, it isn’t so bad! I have a long way to go but I’ve come so far at this point that I don’t see myself turning around. Maybe it is true about getting wiser as you age (no cracks about my age, please!).
I find myself these days just smiling at the thought of what is coming up for the weekend. I smile when my phone rings at 5:50 a.m. every morning because I know who it is going to be (and for those who know me well, know that I cherish every minute of my sleep!). Where things once aggravated me to death, I now just laugh it off (for the most part). It’s a whole new chapter for me and I hope that whoever is writing it for me, keeps up this happy time!