It pours. Isn't that the saying? Or that everything comes in 3s? Well in my case I've had a load of bad dumped in my lap the past couple of days. I guess you could say I'm feeling a big helpless. Not hopeless. I do have hope it will all get better but so much of it is out of my control.
Where do I start? Maybe with my sailor. Things are not going so well with us. It's been hard. With the distance and living separate lives in separate states. It's beginning to wear on me. Thus I'm taking it out on him. So can I really blame him when he doesn't talk to me? I don't want to talk to me! But I really am at a lost as to explain to him what I am feeling.
Then there are my aunts and uncles. Let's see, now these are all my great aunts and uncles so with age this is all expected. I have an aunt who is having back surgery next week. It has to do with complications of arthritis. Then I have 2 uncles who it has been discovered that they have spots on their lungs. Both have recently been tested so we are now waiting on the results. One of the uncles was a heavy smoker till 6 months ago, but the man is in his upper 70s. The other one has already had cancer of the jaw back when I was a teenager so for me, this really isn't unexpected.
My friends who are currently adopting a baby now have a fight on their hands. The birth father does not want to relinquish his rights. He doesn't want the baby but I guess in his mind, no one else should have her. She's a baby, not a piece of property!
Finally, there is my sister. She's my baby sister. It's been my responsibility to protect her and make things better. I'm having a hard time doing that when I can't even make things better for myself these days. She recently was in a car accident. Minimum damage to the car but of course now she is having neck issues. Then she found out this week that a close friend of hers is pregnant but this pregnancy is life threatening. I'm not a doctor so I don't know exactly why, but it doesn't sound good. I can't think of a thing to say to even give my sister guidance in this.
To top it all off, I've made myself sick! LOL! I keep everything inside until something has to give. Of course it's either going to be the mental health or the physical health. It's both this time.
I had such big plans beginning in May and going through the summer that I was looking forward to! I am going to Jazz Fest to see Bon Jovi this upcoming weekend. I leave in 2 weeks for a family gathering for a graduation. It's my birthday. I have a trip to Florida in June and, keeping my fingers crossed this is still going to happen, I was looking forward to seeing my sailor in July. But right now, I can't even see past the next minute. I know it will get better, but I'm not patient. I'm more of an instant gratification person. All I have right now is hope.