Words

I am not one to really be hurt by words. Someone can say something derogatory about me and I will listen to it but then let it roll off my back. I’m not saying that I ignore it but I don’t let it bother me. If it is something constructive, then yes, of course I will think about it and consider what I can do differently or say differently. But today, today I had someone say one word about me and it hurt me very deeply.

What word could possibly hurt me so badly? Was it a four or five letter word? No. I can handle those. It’s not like I haven’t been called those before, ok, that so doesn’t sound good, but it’s true. Many take my shyness as being snobby or the “b” word. Anyway, I digress. The word I was called was “needy”.

Needy. Why would such a little word hurt me so much? Because it came from someone that I care about and someone that I am hoping to build a future with. Also because I don’t want to ever have to ‘need’ a man ever! I want a partner. I want a companion. I do not want or need someone to rescue me. I do not want or need a man’s money. I do not want or need a man’s muscles. I can take care of myself thank you very much!

I was hoping that by typing it out would make me feel better and it has! He has since apologized saying he was only teasing, but for it to put out there to begin with, well, doesn’t that give it a grain of truth?