The good news is that I have recognized this affliction and am taking steps to find my mind once again. Between the holiday season, extra stress at work, and some personal issues, I am literally a raving lunatic! And I've been taking this out on an unfortunate person and I am so sorry for that!!!
I have piles of Christmas presents scattered throughout my apartment making it look messy and making it blatantly clear I have not wrapped one thing. I need to get that done tonight or at least the items that are going out of state because we are mailing the boxes tomorrow or Saturday.
My best friends are currently in the midst of the worst marital problems of their entire marriage. And I am caught in the middle. I had been talking to both of them until the husband got mad at me because I scolded him for telling his wife some things that I supposedly said about her, although I had not. So now he is sulking over that. But I am not here to be a weapon to be used by him against his wife or vice versa because I told the wife the same thing! The wife is still talking to me and it hurts me to hear the pain in her voice and there is nothing I can do to assist her. And the kids. I have no clue what they are thinking but the two oldest are definitely old enough to be aware of what is going on at the ages of 9 and 10 years of age.
A close friend lost her Dad this past spring and has been on a mission to not acknowledge this by keeping busy. Thus I am always being invited over to do crafty things or baking or hanging out. Which is fine. I love being there for my friends but I know that in the long run this isn't helping her and once again I am feeling at a loss as to help. And I am gone so much from home that my poor Duke is lonely and starting to act out. Like Tuesday evening, he purposely went into my bedroom, waited for me to come look for him and then peed right on the floor in front of me. Oy!!! What am I to do?
Then there is work. My co-worker who was scheduled to go out on maternity leave towards the end of December went out in mid-November. 5 weeks early to be exact. So all our good intentions of transferring information from her to me didn't happen. I am trying to play some major catch up. The only good thing is that I used to do the work she does so I do have that historical information to fall back upon. But I am also trying to do my work also and it is creating some stress for me!
Finally, there is an former friend who has re-entered my life. This person was a good friend at one time but it ended pretty badly between us. I've always wanted closure on the situation (and getting closure from a man is like pulling teeth!) but I am still not sure if I will ever get it or want it anymore. See, I am crazy!!! I don't know what I want.
I certainly hope I can take steps to regain myself. Because who I am currently, I do NOT like!