Monday, July 13, 2009

Monday Vent

Do you ever have that feeling that you perpetually repeat the same mistakes in life? That you know that they are mistakes and yet you keep repeating them over and over?

I'm a smart woman. I have a good life. I have a good job (most of the time - but isnt' that typical of most jobs?). I pay my bills. I have a little extra that I can put aside and spend on goodies like books and cross stitch supplies. I have good friends. Family who loves me. A great dog! Then why is it that I obsess on the things that I can't have? When I say obsess, I mean, can't get it out of my head, hit your head against the wall numerous times type of obsession. And it is an obsession on something that is not even good for me.

Seems like I am mentally healthy if I can recognize that I have a problem. However, even though I know there's an issue, just don't know how to solve it. I've always solved things on my own. But this time I think that I might need help. It feels like failure though that I require help. I was always taught to be self sufficient.

Oh I feel like demons are raging on inside of me. I wish I could have stayed in Houston! I think I see another trip very soon!

3 comments:

Lou's addictions said...

It's not failure to ask for help, in a lot of situations I would see it as a sign of strength. If you find a lot of comfort in Houston would it be possible for you to move there? I know thats easier said than done but it seems as though that is where your heart is

xx

Carolyn NC said...

I think we all deal with our own issues. Hope you can work it all out. :)

Somewhere in said...

I think we all do that sometimes. It's a hard thing to deal with. We sit and build it up in our minds until it no longer resembles anything of what it truely is. Maybe finding out why you want it so much would help.