Ok, so when I start to get stressed, I panic. Which thus results in me saying anything and everything that cames into my head. This has gotten me into trouble many, many times. Luckily, those closest to me know this. However, it is not a helpful thing when trying to build a new relationship. I just come across as crazy!
I've worked on this bad habit at the request of a new friend. It's gotten a lot better, but I still have a long way to go. It's like the filter in my mind shuts down and truly everything and anything just comes flying out of my mouth or onto emails. The emails are the worst and they shouldn't be. But they are. I tend to type, send and then reflect upon what I've just written. This is not good!
Maybe one day, I will be able to control it better. I'm hoping!
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Monday, May 29, 2006
I woke up this morning and the first thing I did was to call him. Yep, he didn't call to let me know he had gotten home from the lake the day before. Why should I even care? We aren't even dating! We haven't even met! And yet, this man who I have never met, only seen a head shot can get me all tied up knots. Give me butterflies in the stomach. Put a smile on my face with a simple "hello". There's only one word for it: pathetic! But its nice to actually want to open up to someone. To want to share things with. I haven't wanted that in a very long time. Years! and Years! He keeps me so very positive. Ok, so I have way too much time on my hands obviously that I am thinking about this with so much depth. I guess its because when I go home from work, work stays at work and well, I am lucky enough that most of my friends live very drama free lives. So there isn't a lot to worry about. Our biggest worry is what book to read next or what movie to go see! Or perhaps, what craft project to start. Not very complicated since most of us are single. No men to mess things up. But for some reason we all want a man to mess things up! But I am hoping that a man, and a particular man, will only enhance what I have. And I think that is suppose to be how it works.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Have you ever seen the movie "You've Got Mail" with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks? Its just one of those feel good movies. It makes me reflect upon my "relationship" that I have with this guy in Arkansas. Yes, I tried the Eharmony thing and have been corresponding with a man who lives in Arkansas. He lives approximately 6 1/2 hours away. We've been emailing and speaking on the phone for 5 months now. When are we going to meet? I have no idea. It seems that every time I am free, he isn't, or if he is free, I am not. It's like it is doomed before it even starts! The bad thing is that I have really come to like, respect, and value this correspondence with this man that I have not seen. I can only hope that I am as lucky as Meg Ryan was in the movie to find my Tom Hanks!
Saturday, May 27, 2006
My 31st birthday was Thursday. I have to say while it was not earth shattering, it was very pleasant. I work with a bunch of great women who took me to lunch and decorated my desk with balloons and of course a birthday card. My friend, J, who I work with, was so sweet as to buy me a hard back copy of my favorite book, Pride and Prejudice. She had borrowed my paper back copy and it was falling apart and was thoughtful enough to buy me a new one! My long time friend, Joyful, bought me two beautiful leather bound books, The Complete Collection of Grimm's Fairy Tales and the Collection of Lewis Carroll stories. I definitely felt loved and thought of this birthday. Makes me appreciate my friends and not worry so much about finding that one true companion!